thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
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