help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
