I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
