Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Randomize
