never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize