..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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