How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize