We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Randomize
