Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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