I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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