i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
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it was like having sex with a tree stump
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
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I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
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