Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
