i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Randomize
