so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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