Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize