Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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