that's an acceptable place to lick
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
