Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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