Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
and she was petting her beer can
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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