I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i dont even know how to be here
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
