It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
