she was so not down for the gang bang
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
