At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
