You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm at about main and main street
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
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