It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
