so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
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