I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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