I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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