I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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