My room smells like vodka and shame
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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