i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
