i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
