"it" just moved
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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