ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I would ride that face into the sunset