he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I want her autograph on my taint
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat