so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
FUCK WHALES
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
