So how was he last night?
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud