i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
