We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
