It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
