Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
