theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.