i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
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My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
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Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit