You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
