Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.