Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.

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(586): In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson. http://tfl.nu/nef3

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(678): View more from Georgia

Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable

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(678): Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable http://tfl.nu/zwpt

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(770): View more from Georgia

Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time

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(770): Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time http://tfl.nu/rffr

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(303): View more from Colorado

I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze

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(303): I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze http://tfl.nu/sp88

Replies (51) Good night (940) Bad night (7447)
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(850): View more from Florida

HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.

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(850): HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF. http://tfl.nu/8qce

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(845): View more from New York

Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"

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(845): Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!" http://tfl.nu/ndk1

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.

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(717): She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast. http://tfl.nu/4m88

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(216): View more from Ohio

The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.

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(216): The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first. http://tfl.nu/lmqj

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(585): View more from New York

I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus

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(585): I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus http://tfl.nu/97ca

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(248): View more from Michigan

Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine

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(248): Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine http://tfl.nu/ph8k

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(337): View more from Louisiana

I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.

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(337): I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet. http://tfl.nu/ug81

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(443): View more from Maryland

I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?

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(443): I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible? http://tfl.nu/lb2v

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out

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(608): She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out http://tfl.nu/4oi1

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(517): View more from Michigan

I learned so much about myself in that shower.

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(517): I learned so much about myself in that shower. http://tfl.nu/jhiq

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.

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(902): I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me. http://tfl.nu/zjm5

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