your parents love me but you hate me
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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