So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
We left the knife in your bed.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
