was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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