He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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