i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
