If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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