All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
