i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
