Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
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