before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
