Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
