i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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