Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
