I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
