I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
