Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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