he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
