I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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