Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
