I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
