You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize