I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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